ON PATROL WITH THE KEHRWOCHE POLICE. Or how the Schwaben Journal Almost Caused a War. If you have the misfortune to live with very kind neighbours who undergo the daily trials of OCD and a have an inordinate fondness for the clearest products of the former Soviet Union, you could very well find this in your mail box. It says: " This is not old paper and therefore cannot be regarded as part of the official criteria of the weekly cleaning orders" This isn't ours, our downstair neighbour got one too and he has written on it "If this isn't junk mail - what is?" I found the same thing written on my copy of the local free magazine -The Schwaben Journal - it is just like those dreadful local authority publications from Scotland and you might be surprised to discover that the German version manages to be more worthless and pointless than our home grown stuff. However I have asked Susi to call them and to remove our name from their mailing list on the grounds that